Twenty-two years ago, I was standing in my office at the back of a high school media center with a co-worker, watching something surreal play out on a CRT TV. We were shocked when the first aircraft struck the twin towers in New York City, and wondered how such an accident could have happened. That shock turned to horror when a second aircraft hit the towers, and two other incidents—one at the Pentagon and one in Pennsylvania—were revealed.

September 11, 2001 became a “day of infamy” for my generation, no doubt similar to Pearl Harbor for my grandparents and the assassination of JFK for my parents. It permanently changed the way we travelled but, more importantly, it reminded us that the United States as a country was not untouchable.

Tragic events like that bring the country together. Terrorists don’t care about political affiliation, sexual orientation, views on abortion, religion, or any other characteristics or labels we use to divide ourselves, and when we respond to those attacks, we do so as Americans.

I wish it didn’t take a crisis to stimulate that response. It seems that when someone else isn’t punching us, we choose to punch ourselves. We’ve grown more divided over the past few years, and failed to recognize that what’s happening in our country right now is rising to crisis levels and threatening to destroy our ability to respond with unity to other threats.

We’ll never agree on everything, but perhaps we can find a way to respectfully disagree and compromise before there is no middle ground. We need to demand that of each other and our politicians, even if it means not always getting what we want.

As with any traumatic event, the feelings and memories I have of 9/11 remain vivid and deeply affecting, but I also remember how we responded as a united people. I hope we can find that capacity again to deal with our growing internal tensions.